Kwick365, online ordering site by KwickPOS

Chapter 1: The Art of the Waiter's Quips

- Deliver with a deadpan expression and a slight head tilt.

- Bonus points for adding a sarcastic "Whichever you're not allergic to."

- Practice disappearing into the kitchen with the grace of a ninja.

- Return with a flourish, as if you've just conquered Mount Everest.

- Choreograph a synchronized dance with your fellow servers.

- Include a dramatic "napkin toss" and a triumphant "Ta-da!"

Chapter 2: The Hostess with the Mostest

- Greet guests with a warm smile and a slightly manic glint in your eye.

- Offer them a choice of "the waiting room or the asylum."

- Use your best matchmaking skills to find the perfect seating arrangement.

- Don't be afraid to suggest a "romantic candlelit table" for couples who look like they need a little spark.

- Deliver the bad news with a theatrical sigh and a touch of self-deprecating humor.

- Offer to "make it up to them" with a free dessert or a round of shots.

Chapter 3: The Bartender's Guide to Sarcasm

- Use this classic line with a hint of condescension.

- Bonus points for adding a "No pressure, but I'm waiting."

- Respond to vague drink orders with a raised eyebrow and a sarcastic smile.

- Encourage customers to "use their words" and be specific.

- Deliver this line with a mischievous grin and a wink.

- Be prepared for customers to take you up on the challenge.

Chapter 4: The Manager's Guide to Keeping a Straight Face

- Use this line with a sympathetic smile and a slight shrug.

- Add a touch of humor by saying "We're like a one-man band, but with more instruments."

- Deliver this news with a calm demeanor and a reassuring nod.

- Offer to "keep them updated" on the status of their food, even though you know it's going to be another hour.

- Use this line as a way to deflect complaints without actually doing anything.

- Return to the table with a vague update, such as "The chef is working on it."